I am not one to believe men make better leaders than women or vice-versa. It is more about your authenticity, character, and credibility.  But when it comes to debate, women tend to be stereotyped as the gender that holds themselves back with self-limiting beliefs that translate into fears. These fears often keep them from taking on significant leadership roles. I refer to this as The Good Girl Trap or Imposter Trap.

Over the years, here are the critiques I’ve heard: Taking risk is still seen as “scary” by many women. Women don’t like to fail. Men, however, embrace risk as a challenge to overcome and treat failure as a temporary setback.

Women hear “no” to mean forever; men hear “no” to mean a temporary delay. How can women feel motivated to try new things when they are fearful of hearing “no”?

Women limit their opportunities to be heard because they fear being judged as too aggressive, pushy, or disagreeable. They stand on ceremony and often avoid speaking out to avoid criticism. Meanwhile, male colleagues more naturally take the risk, present the same idea, and are applauded for their insights.

Women are still concerned about what others think, and they fear criticism. They have a strong desire to be liked by others. It’s part of the way we’ve been socialized. We often get caught up in the “Good Girl Trap,” believing that being liked is a priority. This translates into the belief that unparalleled commitment and achieving results are enough to move up the ranks. Men have cleverly figured out that they don’t have to do all the work as long as it gets done.

Women seek external validation to a fault. Consequently women look for confirmation of their self-worth to others and often wait to get promoted instead of asking for it upfront. They often sabotage future opportunities by questioning whether they are fully qualified enough to take on greater responsibilities, often missing the opportunity of a lifetime.

Women are averse to playing in the political arena, as it feels unnatural and fake. Therefore, aside from resisting the networking activities, they avoid discussing their accomplishments with senior management when opportunity arises. The idea of “tooting their own horn” brings on stress and discomfort. However, they must make sure that management is aware of their accomplishments rather than hoping that hard work will speak for itself.

REGARDLESS OF MALE OR FEMALES LEADERSHIP

1.  Speak up. Make it a habit to give your opinion at least once during every meeting. If you fear that you will be seen as too aggressive or opinionated, speak up but invite others to voice their thoughts as well. This illustrates that you are collaborative and value others’ opinions.

2. Ask for what you want. Develop the courage and tenacity to do so.

3. Be strategic. Attack overwhelming problems systematically. Identify what the obstacles are and then tackle them down step by step.

4. Don’t get stuck in the negative. Move from why it isn’t happening to how it could happen.  Use “OPPORTUNITY”, never  “PROBLEM”.

5. Don’t go it alone. Surround yourself with a good team to make change happen. Build relationships that secure champions and sponsors within your organization.

6. Be a General. Have a good understanding of corporate politics, power structures, and alliances. Pick your battles wisely.

7. Build your “net worth.” Look at networking as your “net worth” and book time in your calendar to follow up all leads–even superficial ones. This is how men boost their visibility and make business connections.

8. Have courage.  Venture out of your comfort zone. Confidence comes from celebrating lessons learned, rather than focusing on what didn’t work.  And confidence creates the foundation needed for taking on leadership roles. Embrace your fear—and use it as a motivator.

What do you think . . . take my poll and let me know . . .

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Remember to click the book cover image below to check out my new book “The Future of You! Creating Your Enduring Brand” for interesting and insightful examples of how you can build your personal brand.

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