Be grateful in good times

Thankfulness is a great equalizer. In good times, it leads us to acknowledge that our success does not belong to us alone. See your success and good fortune in the context of the support, love and encouragement you have received over the years. Gratitude does not take away anything from you.  Instead, I believe, it increases the joy you can gain from your success.

As a leader, you will naturally build those connections when you open your heart and share the glory of your successes with your team. Acknowledge others publicly and privately. Let them know that you understand what they contributed to your success. That type of genuine interaction can build unbreakable bonds.

Be grateful in difficult times

Gratitude helps us maintain perspective when we are faced with adversity. In the face of losing a job, a promotion or a contract, we can still be grateful for the family, friends and loved ones who are part of our lives.  In the face of personal loss due to illness, death or another tragedy, we can be grateful for those around us or a job that gives us structure and meaning during a difficult time.

Just as you have a professional network for business opportunity, you must also be part of a resiliency circle of close family and friends who are there for each other when things are good and when they are not so good.

Once on the other side of personal or professional tragedy, be sure to go back and thank those who stood by you on your darkest days.

Giving voice to gratitude

There are many ways to give voice to your gratitude. Before doing so, think about the person you are thanking.  Is he a private person? Would she appreciate public praise? Would a nice lunch together be appreciated or awkward for them? Observe how they thank others, as that is likely how they would prefer to be thanked.

Think about some of the nicest, most meaningful “thank yous” you have received in your life. What made them memorable?

Without prescribing any one way to say thank you, here are some ideas to consider:

· Make it personal.  As many of you know, I am a fan of the hand-written note. No matter how virtual the world becomes, there is something deeply personal about a note penned in one’s own handwriting on personal stationary.

· Choose your words.  Don’t just dash off the first thing that comes to your head. Take some time to craft your words – whether spoken or written – in a way that will hold meaning for the recipient.

· Pick up the phone.  Ah, the telephone — that semi-useless instrument on your desk beside your computer. It can be easier to impart sincerity and emotion with your voice than with a keyboard.

· Get creative.  There are many online tools that can help you create personalized mementos from photos of a shared event or create some other symbolic way to memorialize a victory or milestone.

· Give a small gift.  It is important that any thank-you gifts be appropriate and larger in meaning than in actual dollar value. You don’t want your recipient to mistake a token of your thanks with payment for services rendered. For example, a Starbucks card for a devoted coffee drinker along with a personal note might be a winning combination.

· Give the gift of time.  Two friends of mine stopped exchanging gifts a few years ago and started spending a day together on their birthdays. It has evolved into a tradition they both cherish as a way to thank each other for another year of friendship and support.

As we head into the Holiday Season, be grateful for what you have. There are as many ways to say thank you as there are reasons to say it. This Holiday Season, let family, friends and colleagues know how much you care. Live your life with gratitude; not with regrets because today is what truly counts.

Yours in gratitude,

Roz

Successful women can reach career plateaus that are perplexing and frustrating. In fact, many are held back by a leadership and communications style that no longer serves their needs. We call this career phenomenon The Endless Loop Trap. Corporate women stuck in The Endless Loop Trap repeat ineffective patterns of behavior, communication and visual presence.

The Art of WOW DVD offers women a way out of the Endless Loop Trap with learning opportunities to build and project their unique personas. In a corporate environment that increasingly values entrepreneurship, DVD viewers will be able to develop strategies to brand themselves.

Intrigued? Learn more here.

In these challenging times, your success will depend on the attitude you choose daily and how you decide to embrace change. The success you experience in your career will depend on the choices you make every day. You don’t get to vote on how you are perceived.  How others see you is their reality, no matter what you might have intended.  Although we judge ourselves by our intentions, we often misjudge others by our own perceptions of their behaviors. As I have explained to my clients, how others respond to you as a team member will depend entirely on their experience of you.

Below are some strategies to help you demonstrate the kind of personal leadership that will serve you in your career.

• Take ownership of others’ perceptions of you
• Don’t stretch yourself too thin
• Keep your eye on the road
• Manage your reputation by choosing a positive disposition
• Show that you care
• Become a champion of others
• Adopt an attitude of service
• Find meaning in what you do every day

I know I have a long way to go, but I am sold on the power of teamwork and the power of human kindness.   As my mother often says, you get out what you put in. So give unconditionally. Miracles do happen.

Do not mistake the ease and speed of typing and sending an email with any erosion of the rules of business. Even when checking email at an airport, tapping out a reply with your thumbs on a smartphone, your brand hangs in the balance of each keystroke.

So, let’s take a step back and make sure we have not fallen into too many bad habits, often born of simply moving too fast. Look your last email in the mirror and make sure it looks, sounds and feels as put together as you are. Brand yourself smart, sharp, considerate, professional and current by doing the following:

* Choose your wardrobe. Using fancy fonts, colorful backgrounds and smiling, winking or crying emoticons are the electronic equivalent of dressing inappropriately at work. Or at least be discretionary to the right audience. Save your party dress or lime green tie for the weekend. Don’t make your recipient switch fonts to respond, because you set the background on your email on dark blue or grey.

* Choose your venue. Ask yourself if this is a conversation you could have in a restaurant or would it be better suited for the privacy of an office or conference room? If it is a private conversation, keep it that way, by picking up the phone or having the meeting in person because you can never guarantee an email exchange will remain private.

* Get the right people in the room. If the interaction is suitable for email, then choose your cc list carefully; it is the electronic version of inviting others into the meeting. Sending an email requesting action from someone and simultaneously copying their boss can send the message: “I don’t trust you.” Make sure it is appropriate to include their boss in the conversation before doing so.

* Fine tune your virtual handshake. Address the recipient directly, professionally and politely. Begin with a greeting and end with a courteous closing.

* Joking can be easily perceived as sarcasm.  Voice inflection conveys subtleties in live communication but email text is text.  Humor gets misunderstood and some may not even pick up on it. Using bracketed words such as LOL may inform your audience of your intentions provided that they understand your sense of humor. (FYI, in email parlance LOL means “laughing outloud.”) Also, don’t say anything derogatory about a colleague that could jeopardize your relationship with them.

* Err on the side of formality. Email and text messages are completely different mediums. Never ask someone “2 get bck 2 u ASAP” in an email. Use formal, business-style language.

* Be consistent in every email. Don’t let time shortchange you from crafting professional concise emails. Write like you are addressing your president, using language that best showcases your professionalism and messaging.

* Make your subject line work for you.  Inform the reader about the contents in six words or less. Avoid capital letters, lots of exclamation points or dollar signs – the trademark of a spammer. Change the subject line when you reply back and the topic has changed.

* Respect your recipient’s time. Just as you would be respectful of someone’s time in a meeting, be direct and get to the point in the text of your email. If you are asking for action by your recipient, make sure they see that before they toss your email into the “too long to read right now” pile. Too much information in your status updates will make people half-heartedly absorb your message. Also, don’t flood your business partners with unnecessary FYIs.

* Check your watch. Be conscious of what time you send an email. Sending one at 2:00 a.m. can brand you as disorganized or inconsiderate, unless you make it clear you are not looking for an immediate response or that you are in Tokyo. A better alternative might be to program your email to arrive during your recipient’s work day. In Microsoft Outlook, you do that by using the “Delay Delivery” function.

* Ask, don’t tell; speak don’t shout. “Return receipt requested” is a cyber version of Glenn Close shouting, “I will NOT be ignored,” in the movie “Fatal Attraction.” Don’t use this email function unless you have a very good reason. Never type ANYTHING IN ALL CAPS. It is widely considered cyber shouting even if you only meant to add emphasis.

* Put yourself in recipient’s shoes. Is there a double meaning in your phrases?  Saying “I tried calling without success” might cause the recipient to conclude that you are blaming them for ignoring your calls.

* Walk around the block. If you do feel like shouting, it is best to cool down before you hit “reply.” It is tricky enough to get the tone of any email right. In the absence of visual or voice cues they are highly susceptible to misinterpretation. If you receive an email that makes you hot under the collar, it is probably better to pick up the phone to work things out. If you pop off an angry email, chances are, it will end up being viewed and interpreted beyond your intended audience. Protect your brand. Walk around the block first.

* Get your flu shot. Make sure you stay current with anti-virus protection on your computer. Passing a virus by email brands you technologically out of date.

* Weigh your luggage. Email attachments that are too large can tie up your recipient’s inbox and wreak havoc on their smartphone. Be conscious and considerate. If you have a large file to transfer, ask your recipient when and how they would prefer to receive it.

* Keep your signature simple. Remember, your email represents you. If you have never met your recipient, they are looking for cues and clues about who you are. Think about what your signature lines say about you. Keep them simple, useful and professional by just including basic contact information such as name, title, company name, email address, telephone number and website address.

* Avoid being a poet or a preacher. It has become popular to add a favorite quote after your email signature. I do it myself. After researching this newsletter, however, I am suggesting you think this through carefully. Some email experts suggest avoiding quotes altogether. If you do use one, make sure it is not controversial, religious, political, preachy or just plain odd.

* Set yourself apart. Manage the image of your emails as you would your appearance in a job interview. After all, aren’t we always being judged?

So, my cyber-savvy friends, how did you do? If your email shoes needed a little polish, don’t fret. Mine did too. My best advice is simply to read each missive one more time before launching “virtual you” around the world. Your business and your brand depend on it.

As an executive coach, I have often witnessed companies withholding promotions from individuals who cannot relate to others on a personal level.

The smart and the savvy know a conversation that starts as simply as a comment about the weather can be the beginning of a great friendship, a creative collaboration or a lucrative contract. Those who proudly proclaim, “I don’t do small talk,” are missing out on a world of opportunity. The true benefit of small talk is that it leads to big talk. Like anything, you first have to commit to investing the time and effort.

If you have you ever found yourself tongue tied at a networking event or new client meeting, join the human race. We’ve all been there. Here are some techniques to help you.

Adopt the likeability factor. Likeability is simply helping others feel good about themselves when they are with you. Try treating others like they are a guest at your party and you are honored to have them attend.

Weather the first five minutes. Five minutes is a generous estimate of how much time you have to make a connection with someone before they start looking around for the bar, or even the exit.

Embrace an attitude of genuine curiosity. Next time you find yourself in a conversation with a new customer, acquaintance or stranger, try engaging them genuinely with a few curious questions –to get to know a person. Remember, start small. Then use open ended questions. That allows you both to continue the dialogue.

Listen with genuine interest. Focus on the person and what they are saying. Use your eyes to reflect sincere interest; make them steady, sincere and warm.

Use the technique of paraphrasing. After you ask that curious question, paraphrase the other person’s response back to them. Not only will this ensure you understood them correctly, it shows them that you are truly engaged.

Find common ground. The ultimate goal of small talk in any situation is to establish common ground. No matter how different from you anyone seems, there is always a way to connect. Sometimes the tiniest twig of commonality can begin a fruitful relationship because people like people like themselves.

Lend a helping hand. When appropriate, you could offer to send along some information or make an introduction. This establishes you as someone who is interested in his or her success.

So, my friends, I encourage you to get out there, physically, into the world of opportunity. Blackberrys, iPhones and iPads can never replace a handshake, a warm embrace or an inviting smile. They are powerful tools, but they are not a substitute for human conversation over lunch. At least I haven’t yet heard my BlackBerry ask to pay my bill!

Whether you are looking for a job or not, it’s in your best interest to continuously network, promoting yourself and your expertise to management, peers and those in positions to champion you. This lays the groundwork for your next career move, and it distinguishes you from your competition.

Ultimately, the purpose of networking is:

* To gather information about a particular industry, business or career position in which you are interested

* To broaden your professional network beyond the people you know to the people that they know

* To build relationships that bring you pleasure

Your Success will depend on your interpersonal skills. Build your network by making a list of everyone you need to know or know better internally and those within your industry. Trace old colleagues who could toot your horn to others.

How you approach your network contact depends upon how well you know the person. If you know them, come right out and say you are investigating professional opportunities in a particular industry. Tell the person that you’d appreciate the opportunity to get together over coffee for an information session and perhaps to seek advice. If the person suggests breakfast or lunch, all the better. But start small so you don’t give the impression you are going to monopolize their time.

Before your meeting, find out something about the person’s recent achievements such as a promotion or an important new client. If you can’t speak specifically about the person, know something positive about the company he/she works for. Above all, treat the person as your guest. When you assume host behavior, you will naturally project greater confidence and warmth.

After a few minutes of small talk, start with your “30-second commercial” about yourself. Relate your area of expertise and what would make you valuable to another company. Be brief, direct and to the point. If you are uncomfortable talking about your strengths, try third-party testimonials from your customers, your colleagues or your boss. For example, “My employer has said that I have made a valuable contribution in ….” or “My staff tells me that they appreciate my ability to coach and develop them for higher positions.”

Remember to follow up your meeting with a Thank You note. If in the course of your discussion you learn something about the person – she is an avid golfer or he collects art – be on the lookout for interesting articles to forward them occasionally. Or, if you read something related to their job or industry, send that along. This is an excellent way to refresh their memory about you.

And lastly, return the favor. Book time to make a difference to others. Give the gift of mentorship. The old adage of “what goes around comes around” has never been more apparent than in these competitive times.

Summer can be a great time for working your way through a few items on your perpetual To-Do list. Congratulations if this includes creating or updating your Virtual Network! It is so critical to keep your information up-to-date and relevant.

Your online profile is a terrific opportunity to present your unique brand to the corporate world. You will find many tips on how to create an excellent brand for yourself in my blog posts, on the site, or in my books.

Keep the private and the corporate worlds apart: Your business network – such as LinkedIn – can work very well for you if you post relevant business related information. Pictures from your last party, your children’s drawings, and pet stories belong to Facebook and Twitter.

Do you know what turns up if your name is googled? You may find yourself surprised how much information Google digs up about you, or how minimal your presence may be.

Keep your image consistent and relevant. If your image is inconsistent through various sites or posts, you are sending conflicting branding messages about yourself.

The internet is a great and highly valuable tool for very effective networking. Do take advantage of the opportunities through online networking. Partner with those who can benefit from your connections and reach out to those who are in transition.

Would you like to connect with me? Please do so at http://www.linkedin.com/in/rozusheroff.

Each generation has its unique strength and specific style at work. Your ability to understand and work well with older and younger colleagues will help you to flex your communication style for greater impact and influence. Baby Boomers, for example, will show superior interpersonal skills in the workplace. They know the value and the art of building and maintaining strong business relationships. Generation X’s strength, on the other hand, combines tech savvy and workplace experience. This group is in the best position to relate to its previous and subsequent generation – it is quite possibly the glue to the entire generational system. The Millennials, who are 30 and under, will be quick to embrace and leverage new technology. They can bring critically-needed fresh perspectives and new ideas to every team or task.

As I discuss in my book, “Taking the Leap: Managing your career in turbulent times and beyond,” communicating well always works, no matter the age of the person on the receiving end. If you are genuinely interested in understanding and working well with your colleagues and you communicate that, you are half way there.

Be sure to invest time in establishing commonality with the other generations.

The generation you were born into may always define you in some ways, but it never has to limit you; respecting that about yourself and others will brand you as “generation-proof.”

How to understand, relate to, and motivate across the generational differences.

Baby Boomers (born 1946-1964), Generation Xers (born 1965-1980) and Millennials (born after 1980) come to the workplace with different experiences, skills, priorities, and expectations. Critically, that means often what motivates one generation couldn’t be more different than what motivates another.

Your success – whether as a leader, a team member or a consultant – is directly linked to your ability to motivate others. Although it’s impossible to draw neat boundaries along generational lines and unproductive to over generalize, we are each, in part, a product of our time. Use this generational knowledge, along with your instincts and your specific knowledge of those you work with, to better understand, relate to and motivate them.

Baby Boomers are often motivated by outward signs of success, such as titles, status within the organization and perks. For them, long hours and heavy travel schedules have always been accepted as part of the territory as long as they are helping them get up the next rung on the ladder. They are also motivated by a sense of purpose; and they are natural team players. For Baby Boomers, it’s about feeling appreciated and not feeling over the hill.

On the other hand, Generation Xers typically value work/life balance and freedom. Titles and perks mean little to them, unless they result in money in their pockets and lead to more flexibility. Create choices for Generation Xers, and give them immediate and meaningful rewards for their expertise and contributions.

And then there are the Millennials, who expect praise and promotions but are also looking for a lot of feedback, mentoring, training and a connection to a higher purpose through their work. Millenials enjoy and often prefer working in virtual teams rather than in person. They also don’t favor long hours, preferring to use technology to save time and finish their work in time for happy hour with their friends. Many would rather take advantage of E-learning opportunities than attend live seminars. Create an environment with structure, specific expecations and goals, along with a clear path to success for Millennials. Furthermore, they may respond well to your help to see the “higher good” in the work they do.

For all generations, smart leaders recognize the importance of a positive work environment which encourages fun. It helps every generation manage in good times and bad.

- Vocal power wins: Project your voice to demonstrate authority, confidence and approachability.

- Always stand up when you speak. Your voice will be clearer and louder.

- Using hand gestures for voice projection and smiling for approachability will make your voice sound more welcoming.

- Have an agenda and ensure it includes opening “thank you” statements for the attending parties, and appreciation for those who helped setting up the meeting.

- Find the proper setting: a quiet room with no distractions is ideal. Video conferencing image quality has the same rules as television appearances: avoid patterns with plaids, large prints, herringbones and wide stripes.

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